1- BEREISHIS (Genesis, 1:1-6:8)
“Let the SON Shine!” (2016)
A baby boy is born.
His proud and hopeful parents bring him to the synagogue on the eighth day of his life, whereupon he is surgically and spiritually ushered into the Covenant of Abraham.
A prayer is recited … May this little one become great. Just as he as entered the Covenant, so too may he enter into the Torah, the Chuppah (marriage canopy) and good deeds.”
Big plans for this little guy. “May this little one (Kattan in Hebrew) become great (Gadol in Hebrew, literally big).”
A prayer that the Kattan will become Gadol, the little one will grow to become big. We look forward to seeing this little 6-pounder turn into a strapping 6-footer.
Being a Mohel, I get to eat a lot of bagels & lox, and hear a lot of speeches. I heard a beautiful explanation of this prayer …
“How Many G-ds Does It Take To Make A World?” (2009)
Moses was not happy. There he was, taking dictation from the Author of the Torah, writing each word per G-d’s instructions. They were up to Genesis, 1:21. G-d told him to write, ” . . . and G-d said, let Us make man in Our image . . .”
.. OUR image . . . ???
Moses was troubled by G-d referring to Himself in plural. A major tenet of the Jewish faith is that there is only one G-d, who has no partners. “Master of the World! You are giving an opening to heretics!”…
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“Be a World Builder” (2008)
…G-d wanted Israel to be His partner in Creation. But how could this be done? G-d brought forth all His miraculous powers of creation in bringing the world into being. What did we do? Nothing! …
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“Kindness, Torah-Style” (2006)
… Was it really such a charitable act for G-d to feed Adam and Eve? After all, He created them! Doesn’t a parent feed and clothe and educate his child, and help him to become self-sufficient?
It was, in a sense, in G-d’s “best interest” to take care of Adam and Eve…
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“The Right Tools” (2005)
It is axiomatic that the right tools make the job much easier to do. Did you ever try to use a flat screwdriver on a Philips-head screw because you didn’t have what you needed? It just doesn’t work right.
Before you start a job, it is very important to get what you need. Yes, you can improvise, and sometimes it will come out ok. However, the extra time you take to make a quick trip to the hardware store will yield worthwhile dividends…
Go out there and conquer the world. Negotiate that contract! Build that better mousetrap! Heal that patient! Hit that grand slam home run!
But before you do, make sure you are prepared. Do your homework. Sterilize your surgical instruments. Go to spring training.
One more thing …
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“The LochNess Succah” (2003)
… A nice, upbeat prayer — a request that in the coming year, G-d will finally send the Messiah, ushering in a utopian era of world peace and mutual understanding. A time when, as Isaiah says, swords will be made into plowshares, and war will be a defunct concept found only in history books.
But what if the Messiah doesn’t come? What if next year isn’t perfect? Would it not be appropriate to add a caveat to the above prayer? How about something like, “Okay, G-d, I hope you send the Messiah. But, if You decide not to, may it be Your will that my family all be together in good health to celebrate Sukkos together.”
Might it not make sense to have a “back-up plan”? Why should we go for broke? …
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“The Evolutionary War” (2002)
Who’s right, scientists or the Torah? On Rosh Hashanah, we began the year 5763. How can we believe that the world is less than six thousand years old when the scientific evidence indicates that it is BILLIONS of years old?
What about fossils? What about carbon dating? Can we, as intelligent people, really believe the Adam & Eve story? What about dinosaurs? What about all of the evidence of various life forms, leading to the advanced stage of development at which we now stand? How can we believe in the Garden of Eden instead of Jurassic Park? …
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“Cry ‘Uncle'” (2001)
… What could have caused such strife, such animosity that would lead Cain to destroy one seventh of the human race? …
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“‘Big Mac’ Strikes Out In the Garden of Eden” (2000)
… My son showed me an article last week (Total Baseball Weekly — October 18-24, 2000 — no link available) about some baseball fans that approached home run superstar Mark McGuire and asked him for his autograph. Big Mac “graciously” offered to give his autograph to whomever would be kind enough to go to Starbucks and fetch him a cup of coffee.
… Without his fans footing the bill, he would have to go out and get a real job and buy his own coffee. Here is a man who has a lot to learn about appreciation.
Too bad. He should have read this week’s Torah Portion …
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2 – NOACH (Genesis, 6:9-11:32)
Nimro-bama” (2009)
…Society was uncomfortable with Abram’s “Inconvenient Truths.” He said things that challenged their beliefs. He contradicted Nimrod’s plans of absolute sovereignty. He dared to accuse the “Great Leader” of being, well, merely mortal. Therefore, he had to be silenced.
Last November, the people of America displayed the “Audacity of Hope” and voted for “Change.” As the bumper stickers ask, “How’s that ‘Hopesy-Changey’ workin’ out for you?” …
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“Murdering the Murderer?” (2008)
“Two wrongs don’t make a right! If it is wrong to kill, it is wrong to kill! When we execute murderers we become no better than they are!”
So goes the argument of the anti-capital punishment crowd. When we kill a killer we become killers ourselves.
There seems to be a certain amount of merit to that argument, except for one little detail. G-d disagrees:
“He who spills the blood of man shall have his own blood spilled by man, for G-d made man in His own image.” (Genesis, 9:6)
G-d made this statement to Noah and his children shortly after He wiped out almost every man, woman, and child from the face of the earth. Although every human being is created in G-d’s image, G-d had no problem eliminating all but the eight members of the Noah Family.
Why not?…
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“A Tale of Two Cities” (2007)
… G-d has limited patience with wicked people. Nineveh was slated for destruction. The prophet Jonah was sent to Nineveh to warn them of their imminent doom. They got the message. They repented their evil ways and were spared.
As a result of their actions, the (belatedly) righteous citizens of Nineveh serve as an annual Yom Kippur role model to teach us what we can accomplish by returning to G-d.
Now let us look at another Biblical city. We will read in a few weeks about Eliezer’s journey to the city of Nachor…In Nachor he finds murderous, wicked people. … “Laban, son of NACHOR”, (Genesis, 29:5) is one of the symbols of the enemies of Israel. He is also identified with Balaam, who did everything in his power to curse and destroy Israel.
There you have it. Two cities. Nineveh, which teaches us how to return to G-d and become better people, and Nachor, a city that teaches us treachery and unrepentant evil.
We, can, perhaps, see the roots of these cities’ differences in this week’s Torah Portion…
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“How to be an Orthodox Jewish Gentile” (2006)
Is it possible for a Gentile to practice Torah Judaism? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Not at all. Actually, it is very much possible for a Gentile to practice Torah Judaism. In fact, every member of the human race is obligated to do so.
We do not believe that every person is obligated to follow the 613 Commandments of the Torah. There is nothing wrong with Gentiles eating pork chops or driving on the Sabbath. They are, however, required by Torah Law to obey 7 key Commandments, known as the Seven Noahide Laws. (“Noahide” = Children of Noah.)
What are they required to do? Well, they could start off by disbanding the New Jersey Supreme Court!…
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“No Pot of Gold…” (2005)
It’s beautiful; it’s a sign of ugliness. When you see it, you recite a prayer of thanks; when you see it, you’re not supposed to show it to anyone. It is a sign of hope; it is a sign of frustration. It is a sign of divine compassion; it is a sign of divine wrath.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, SomeOne is remembering a promise. Somewhere, under the rainbow, someone has broken a promise…
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“Yerachmiel’s Ark” (2004) …
… As I lay on the grass in a not-very-rabbinic muddy suit contemplating my predicament, I started laughing. Noah’s lion strikes again!…
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“Quoth the Raven . . .” (2003)
I hate ‘em!
My garbage pail gets knocked over by the wind, and before you know it, these big black, ugly birds are ripping open the trash bags, spreading the wealth all over my driveway!
Noah hated ‘em too…
Noah didn’t like the raven. It was a cruel and selfish bird. In fact, Noah didn’t mind endangering that miserable creature by sending it out of the Ark. He didn’t understand what value there was in even allowing the raven back into the Ark. He saw the raven as an unnecessary member of the animal kingdom. It was cruel to its own children. It was inedible. It could not be used as a sacrifice. AND, it was despicable…
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“You Can’t Climb a Grapevine” (2002)
… When Noah sobered up, he realized how his son and grandson had dishonored him, and cursed them. Noah blessed Shem and Japheth for their respect and sensitivity.
How did Noah, this great man, who is called “a man of righteousness,” descend so quickly to become “a man of the earth?” How did the savior of mankind so quickly find himself in a drunken stupor, subject to the scorn of his own son and grandson? …
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“Sweat the Big Stuff…and it’s ALL Big Stuff!” (2001)
… there is no such thing as “a little bit pregnant” …
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“A Pig by Any Other Name…” (2000)
… there are two types of laundry — clean laundry and dirty laundry. Would you reclassify these two categories as “clean laundry” and “laundry that isn’t clean?!” …
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3 – LECH LECHA (Genesis, 12:1-17:27)
The Surrogate Mother and the Terrorist (2009)
…What a story! Sarai can’t conceive, so she makes Hagar her “surrogate.” Hagar conceives right away and “disses” Sarai. Sarai persecutes Hagar, causing her to lose her baby and run away. The angel tells Hagar to accept Sarai’s tough treatment, and promises that since G-d has heard her prayer, she will give birth to the father of the nation that will eventually give us Arafat, bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein!
Sarai’s behavior is puzzling. Abram & Sarai taught the world about kindness and righteousness. While it is true that Hagar’s behavior was inappropriate, wasn’t it a bit much for Sarai to give her such a hard time? It would seem that causing Hagar to lose her baby and run away is a bit over the top!…
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“CHANGE!!” (2008)
… Let’s face it. CHANGE is in the air. Our country is beginning to undergo a fundamental change in its entire method of doing business. Some of us welcome the change. Some of us are profoundly disappointed. Some of us have great hope and optimism for the future that will be heralded in by our new president and Congress. Others are frustrated and frightened by what will happen to our economy, our status in the world, our security and Israel’s security.
Let me give both sides a bit of news. You’re both wrong!…
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“Tune that Name!” (2006)
…There is a tradition that parents are given the gift of Divine inspiration to enable them to select their child’s name. …, it is the universal desire of all parents to give their child an honorable name, and to bless him with the hope that he will grow up to bring credit to his name…
It is, therefore, rather surprising that we find that several of the Sages of the Talmud were named Rabbi Yishmael. Ishmael, the oldest son of Abraham, does not seem to be a person whom we would want our children to emulate. He was “a wild man, his hand against everyone (in theft — Rashi) and everyone’s hand against him (in hatred — Rashi) and over all his brothers he will dwell.” (He will be a very large nation) (Ibid, 17:12) He ridiculed Isaac and his observance of G-d’s Commandments. He was a murderer. He was so lacking in ethics and morality that his own father sent him away, so that he wouldn’t be a bad influence on Isaac.
How could it be that parents would want to name their children after such a scoundrel?…
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“There Goes the Neighborhood!” (2005)
… It has happened so many times… How many nations have invited us in, enjoyed success, and then kicked us out?…
Take, for example, my home county of Rockland, in New York. Monsey, in the Town of Ramapo, is known worldwide as a bastion of Torah Judaism. Synagogues, Yeshivas, Kosher bakers, butchers, and book stores make this a very comfortable place for orthodox Jews to live. And they are moving in in droves.
In 1991, a group of Ramapo residents, some Jewish, some not, incorporated the Village of Airmont. This village was founded, in the opinion of the Federal Government, for the express purpose of excluding orthodox Jews …
The Federal government sued. And won. To this day, my home village of Airmont is paying of the expenses of trying to keep me out. This past June, the Feds sued Airmont again. This time, we (“WE?”) are trying to keep a residential Yeshiva out, when other residential facilities are acceptable…
This past Tuesday, a rabbi I know was standing in front of the building where he had just voted. One of our fellow citizens walked past him and made a comment that says it all: “I can’t stand looking at you people!”
Nice…
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“The Soul Maker” (2003)
He gazed into her eyes. He whispered to her words he had never said before. “I now realize how beautiful you are!”
How romantic! Who was this young man, who was expressing his fond appreciation of his beloved’s radiance? Who was this lovely young beauty, the subject of his admiration?
This couple, who had dedicated their lives to teaching Torah, were no youngsters. He was 75 years old. She was 65. His name was Abram; hers, Sarai. (Later known as Abraham and Sarah.)…
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“The Salem Trial” (2002)
… It was a major superpower summit. The most powerful men in the world were about to meet… Chapter 14 of Genesis describes what should probably be called the First World War. Five kings went to war against four kings. … What would happen when these two leaders would meet? … How did “Malchizedek-the-bartender” become “Malchizedek-the-Priest”????? …
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“The Reward for a Mitzvah…” (2001)
…We’ve all heard of the city of Sodom… Abraham gave up the opportunity to become its king… A great selfless act on the part of our great patriarch. However, he still could have done more…
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“A Covenant of Dedication” (2000)
… The Mohel performed the Bris and handed the child to his mother who embraced him, kissed him, and fainted flat out onto the floor!…
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4 – VAYEIRA (Genesis, 18:1‑22:24)
“Sodom & Gomorrah… and Sandy” (2012)
It is easy to look at the pictures of the devastation and be reminded of this week’s Torah Portion’s story of the overturning of Sodom and Gomorrah. After G-d was finished raining destruction on those cities, there was nothing left. The Torah tells us that before the destruction, Sodom was a green and lush paradise. After the destruction, it was a barren desert.
No doubt, there will be some who will glibly attribute the hurricane to …
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“A Prayer and an Opportunity” (2010)
… We, the People of Israel are a compassionate People. We try to take care of our own. And there they are, at synagogues and cemeteries, jingling change in their hands, and calling out, “Tzedokah, Tzedokah.” (Loosely – and incorrectly – translated as “Charity, Charity.”)
… It can be very disturbing. It can even be annoying. And this is what led to my dilemma two years ago.
I was praying at Rachel’s Tomb. I had many things to pray for. I was standing there, at that holy site, pouring out my heart to G-d. I was reciting Psalms with a fervor that is difficult to match in other places. I felt close to our Father in Heaven.
Then it happened. A hand was thrust into my face, with a quick description of a difficult situation of an impoverished family… taking advantage of the opportunity to pray in this holy place. I was inspired. I was uplifted. And this charity collector burst into my conversation with G-d and totally destroyed my concentration. How dare he?!!
…Who was right, I pondered; the collector or me?…
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“Immaculate Deception?” (2009)
The world was a desolate place. Sodom and Gomorrah had just been destroyed. They were such dens of iniquity that G-d would no longer tolerate their existence.
But He didn’t destroy everyone…
Lot and his two surviving daughters hid in a cave… They assumed, after the massive destruction they had just survived, that the entire human race had been wiped out… Lot’s daughters had to make a difficult decision…
Lot now had two illegitimate sons/grandsons, who were the fathers of two nations who would, some day, be a source of problems to their cousins the Israelites.
They were illegitimate. But why advertise it? …
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“Girl Talk?” (2007)
Yose ben Yochanan says: “… don’t engage in too much conversation with the woman.” This was said about one’s own wife; all the more so does it apply to another’s wife.… the Sages said: “anyone who engages in too much conversation with women causes evil to himself, neglects Torah study, and will eventually inherit Gehinnom. (The Hebrew term for … a very hot place!!)”
Not very politically correct!
This is, to say the very least, very difficult to understand. The part about overdoing conversation with someone else’s wife is understandable. Human nature being what it is, it is certainly wise for men and women who are not married to each other to set parameters as to how much friendly conversation is appropriate. But what’s wrong with talking to your wife?…
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“What’s So Funny?” (2006)
… Two people hear the same prophecy. Abraham laughs, and G-d says nothing. Sarah laughs, and is criticized by G-d. What’s the difference? If Sarah is criticized for doubting the truth of the prediction, why isn’t Abraham?…
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“Would Abraham Give Candy to Trick-or-Treaters?” (2005)
… You are a Sabbath-observing Jew. You are taking a Shabbos afternoon stroll when a car pulls up next to you. The driver, also Jewish, asks you for directions. What do you do?…
What do you do? Good manners would dictate that you politely tell the driver how to reach his destination. Jewish Law, however, dictates that you may not assist another Jew in violating Jewish Law. Should you say you don’t know how to get there? You’re not allowed to lie. What do you do??!!! …
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“The Most Powerful Force on Earth” (2003)
…Lot… moved to Sodom to get away from his uncle Abraham. He didn’t want to live near his uncle; Abraham was too . . . “religious.” …Lot …seems to have preferred the decadent lifestyle of his neighbors over the restrictive morals of his uncle’s home. Given the choice of Jerusalem vs. San Francisco, Lot chose ‘Frisco! …
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“Not Now, G-d, I’m Busy . . . I’ll Talk to You Later!” (2002)
… You have been selected for a visit from the President of the United States…
“Forgive me, Mr. President. I have something to take care of. Make yourself at home. I’ll be back soon.”
You then proceed to run to your itinerant guests, waiting on them hand and foot while the President cools his heels and leafs through your wedding album.
You give them your best food to eat and your finest cigars to smoke. All the while, the President stands there incredulously, flabbergasted by your audacious and outrageous behavior…
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“Could the Twin Towers Have Been Saved?” (2001)
… At the risk of being controversial (who, me?) and politically incorrect, I would like to suggest that there seems to be Biblical precedent for the profiling of Arabs, expecting the worst. After all, our cousins the Ishmaelites have been at war with us for thousands of years…
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“Under the Influence of Dregs” (2000)
… Sarah … was afraid that he would exert a negative influence over her son Isaac, whom G-d had designated as Abraham’s successor. “Send this maid and her son away, because this maid’s son will NOT share the inheritance with my son Isaac!”
Abraham was distressed by his wife’s suggestion. “My son Ishmael?” he must have asked. “How can I send him away? Who will teach him the right way to live if not I?”
Abraham lost the argument…
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5 – CHAYEI SARAH (Genesis, 23:1-25:18)
“Never Alone” (2016)
Isaac lost both of his parents… First Sarah died. Thirty-eight years later, Abraham died.
G-d paid a Shiva call.
And it was after the death of Abraham, that G-d blessed his son Isaac. (Genesis, 25:11)
What was the nature of the blessing? And why does the Torah need to tell us that Isaac was Abraham’s son? Isn’t that obvious?
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“A Torah Jew’s Guide to ‘Losing’ Elections” (2012)
…Many of my friends are depressed and despondent.
They have waited four years …They tried. And they failed. And they are depressed.
And they are wrong…
Whenever I go to vote, I utter a prayer. I prayed this past Tuesday. What do you think I prayed for?…
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“The Living Dead or the Dead Living?” (2009)
… On September 11, he told his wife he loved her, told his friend to take care of her, recited a Psalm, and met his Creator. Hundreds of firefighters, policemen, and just plain civilians spent their final moments saving others.
On the last day of his life, Timothy McVeigh ate mint chocolate-chip ice cream…
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“Ham’s not Kosher!!” (2008)
Eliezer had a tough assignment.
Sarah was dead. Abraham was a widower with a 37-year-old unmarried son. The future of Abraham’s legacy was dependant upon Isaac marrying and raising the next generation of G-d-fearing “Jews.” It was imperative that Isaac marry a woman who shared his values. In narrowing the field of applicants, Abraham engaged in a bit of “racial profiling.” Canaanites need not apply…
This restriction affected Eliezer personally. This dedicated servant of Abraham had a daughter. He would have loved to have made a “Shidduch” between his daughter and his beloved master’s son. However, it was not to be. Eliezer, you see, was a Canaanite…
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“Well, There’s Bad News and There’s Good News…” (2006)
…when Sarah heard about her son’s near-death experience, the shock killed her.
… Sarah died too early. She could have, and should have, lived longer…
… Sarah needn’t have died…the results could have been different…
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“Will You Marry Me… Again?!” (2005)
… She was none other than Hagar, the mother of Abraham’s oldest son Ishmael. … as a result of Hagar’s idol worship, and her son Ishmael’s wickedness, they were both sent away.
Now that Sarah was gone, Abraham decided to remarry Hagar.
… How could Abraham do something like that? Where was his respect for his wife Sarah? … Now that Sarah is out of the picture, he goes back and marries this wicked woman??!!…
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“White Power!” (2003)
… Old age. A frightening prospect. As we age, we tend to slow down, in action as well as mental capacity. Society celebrates youth, and sometimes barely tolerates the old.
Wouldn’t it be great to be eternally young? Imagine advancing chronologically while our hair remains dark and our skin stays smooth. We’d put the hairdressers and plastic surgeons out of business! Wouldn’t it be wonderful?
Abraham didn’t think so…
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“Do You REALLY Believe That?!” (2002)
…What a beautiful story of faith and miracles! What a marvelous episode of Divine intervention and human acceptance of G-d’s will … What a LIE!!…
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“Walk a Mile for a Camel” (2000)
… Eliezer stood there watching to see if G-d had fulfilled his request … Why was he still wondering? Hadn’t G-d already shown him the sign? Eliezer requested that G-d show him Isaac’s bride by her offering to water the camels. The offer had been made! Why did he stand there and make her work so hard? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH WATER TEN THIRSTY CAMELS CAN DRINK?!!!!!
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6 – TOLDOS (Genesis, 25:19-28:9)
“Something Smells Rotten in the State of Beersheba”
The blessing of a holy man like Isaac carries a great deal of weight… Esau no longer possessed the legal status of the firstborn. He was not entitled to Isaac’s blessing.
… Rebecca set out to save Isaac’s blessing for Jacob … She placed goat hides on smooth-skinned Jacob so he would feel like his hairy brother if Isaac touched him. She dressed him in Esau’s special garment, which had once belonged to Adam.
The ruse went well…
when he realized that he had blessed the “wrong” son, he saw Gehinnom (loose and largely inaccurate translation: “hell“) open up under Esau…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/toldos-something-smells-rotten-in-the-state-of-beersheba/
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“Like Father, Like Son” (2008)
… Abraham had been married to Sarah for decades without children. Then she was abducted for a short time by Abimelech, the Philistine king. A short time later, Sarah is pregnant. It didn’t take much for the “Yentahs” in the neighborhood to start spreading nasty rumors as to the paternity of Isaac.
In order to stop the rumors…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2008/11/27/toldos-like-father-like-son/
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“Closed Eyes and Closed Mouths” (2006)
Abraham had a total of eight sons. However, most of them did not represent the future of Israel. Abraham passed his legacy on to his second son Isaac …
Isaac had two sons, Esau and Jacob. Who would be the standard bearer of the descendents of Isaac?
Esau was perhaps the greatest con man who ever lived. He managed to pull the wool over the eyes of his father Isaac … his mother, however, was not impressed…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/toldos-closed-eyes-and-closed-mouths/
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“Red Beans and Redskins” (2003)
… In my 20+ years as a rabbi, I have learned that there are certain “safe” topics. (E.g., loving your fellow man and giving charity) Some topics are more “iffy,” (Sabbath observance and Kashruth) while others are downright volatile (intermarriage and “terminating” pre-born children). Many listeners and readers want a rabbi to inspire and uplift them, but only as long as he minds his own #$%&*#@*! business.
… there have been times that I’ve managed to get lots of people upset with me. Today’s topic fits into that category. So, I hope you’ll read this with an open mind. If you agree, that’s great. If you disagree, there’s always next week! 🙂 …
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2003/11/26/toldos-red-beans-and-redskins/
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“An ‘FFB’ Marries a ‘BT'” (2002)
… They were an unusual couple…
His father was a respected scholar. Her father was known to his neighbors as a degenerate. He had attended the finest Yeshiva. She was self-taught. In his youth, he had been insulated from the evils of the outside world. She had lived in the outside world.
His family welcomed her. Her family wasn’t thrilled about the marriage. She had told them that she was marrying him whether they liked it or not.
Could this marriage work?…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2002/11/07/toldos-an-ffb-marries-a-bt/
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“Walking the Talk” (2001)
In an unprecedented act of “Divinely endorsed deception,” Jacob embarks upon a mission to fool his father. Jacob is an honest and gentle man, while his brother Esau is a rogue and a fraud. Esau has managed to fool his blind father Isaac into thinking that he is worthy of receiving his blessing…
Rebecca understands the true nature of her wicked son Esau. She has been given the prophetic message that this miscarriage of justice cannot be permitted to take place. She places goatskin on Jacob’s smooth-skinned arms so that he will feel like his hairy brother Esau. She assures him that under these unusual circumstances, it is permitted to mislead his father into thinking that he is Esau…
Still, Jacob was uncomfortable with the ruse. He understood that this was necessary. His mother was a prophetess, and she said that this had to be done… Yet, pretending to be someone he wasn’t didn’t sit well with Jacob…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2003/11/27/toldos-walking-the-talk/
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“Double Trouble” (2000)
…One Mitzvah that was very important even to a scoundrel like Esau was honoring his father; he would never do anything to hurt Isaac. He would wait patiently for his father’s death before murdering his brother. But why did he say, “The days of mourning for my father are coming”? Why didn’t he just say, “When my father dies, I’ll kill Jacob?” Why the emphasis on mourning?…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2000/11/30/toldos-double-trouble/
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7 – VAYEITZE (Genesis, 28:10-32:3)
“How to Say ‘You’re Wrong’ ” (2009)
I once saw a picture in National Geographic that struck me as strange. The article was about life in Utah, and included a picture of a Mormon family. The father posed with his children and their four mothers. Polygamy, although in violation of state (and currently, Mormon) law, continues to exist in Utah.
As an Ashkenazic Jew and member of Western Civilization, I find it very difficult to envision the concept of having more than one wife. Successful polygamy requires a level of “sharing” and cooperation that goes beyond the mores of our culture. It is not a good system…
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“Are You My Bride? … Are You SURE??” (2006)
Jacob came to Haran (in Iraq) in search of a bride.
Rachel was the one… A wedding feast took place and Jacob took his veiled bride home to his tent. It wasn’t until the next morning that Jacob discovered that he had married the wrong woman! It was Leah! He had been had! His uncle had cheated him!…
…How did all of this happen? How did an intelligent man like Jacob allow himself to be hoodwinked by his uncle? How did Laban pull it off? And how could Leah participate in this fraud?
And where was Rachel? Why didn’t she step in and put a stop to this farce?… how could she do that to Jacob? What right did she have, in spite of concerns about her sister’s feelings, to help to snare the man she loved into the exact trap that she had agreed to help him avoid? …
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“Time to Pray!” (2005)
It is well known that religious Jews pray three times a day… But it wasn’t always that way. Although Davening Mincha (the Afternoon Service) and Maariv (the Evening Service) are very Jewish things to do, Abraham apparently didn’t do those things. Isaac, quite a religious Jew, didn’t Daven Maariv either. That was Jacob’s innovation… the morning, afternoon, and evening services were instituted by Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob respectively. We, their children, follow their example… each of the Patriarchs had different experiences that led to each of their prayers…
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“The Gift of Life” (2003)
… Jacob cried…His nephew, Eliphaz had confiscated all his possessions…. we find Jacob’s reaction surprising. After all, isn’t spirituality more important than money? Don’t we usually view a Tzaddik, a righteous person as one who eschews material possessions? In fact, Jacob had asked G-d to provide him with …bread to eat and clothing to wear. (Ibid, 28:23) All Jacob desired was the barest of minimums – a shirt on his back and a simple meal. Why suddenly the tears?…
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“Feeling the Void – Filling the Void” (2002)
Jacob left Beer-Sheba and he went to Haran. (Genesis, 28:10)
The Torah doesn’t waste words. Rashi points out that the Torah only had to write Jacob went to Haran. The point of the story is that he was now on his way to Haran to find a wife. Obviously, he had to leave his home in Beer-Sheba in order to get there. What is the point of telling us that Jacob left Beer-Sheba?
The answer, says Rashi, is that Jacob’s departure from Beer-Sheba was a significant event…
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“To Dream the Impossible Dream” (2000)
Jacob had a tough life. …he lived in constant fear that he would some day be killed by his jealous brother, or forced to kill Esau in self-defense… Laban … tricked him into marrying the wrong woman. … Jacob negotiated a salary for future work – Laban kept changing the terms …When Jacob and his family finally packed their bags and left, Laban pursued them, hoping to kill Jacob… Rachel was unable to have children and there was friction between the two wives. …sibling rivalry caused additional grief. He would eventually suffer the anguish and indignity of his daughter’s abduction and violation by a Canaanite. Then he had to deal with the ensuing violence committed by his sons against the hometown of his daughter’s attacker. For twenty years, he thought his beloved son Joseph was dead.
…Where does one find the strength to deal with such adversity? How did he manage to continue his life in the face of such pain? …
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8 – VAYISHLACH
“Straight Pins and Paszkes” (2009)
… there is much about the Amish that fascinated me. I found many things that I could relate to, and quite a few things with which I disagreed. I understand the desire to limit the amount of influence that “English”– the Amish term for anything non-Amish — society has one’s growing children. I certainly admire their sense of working together and taking care of each other. However, their insistence on the use of straight pins — rather than snaps and buttons – to fasten clothes was lost on me. …
We stayed in a hotel within walking distance of Lancaster’s orthodox synagogue so we could attend Shabbos Services. A Chassidic member of the congregation (yes, I’m sure he’s not Amish!!) shared with me an interesting observation about the Amish…
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“Way to Go, Joe! (Lieberman)” (2003)
…A funny thing happened on the way to synagogue last Friday.
I got into my car to drive to Services. I was running late; it was about ten minutes before sundown. I turned on the radio and heard a familiar voice. Senator Joseph Lieberman, candidate for the Democratic nomination for president, was being interviewed. “What’s he doing on the radio,” I asked myself. “I thought he’s a Sabbath observer!” …
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“The Inferior Decorator”, or, “Stay Out Of My Bedroom!” (2002)
… To Reuben, such action was unacceptable. He would not stand by silently and watch his mother play second fiddle to her sister’s maid! … In describing what Reuben did, the Torah writes: …vayishkav es Bilhah pilegesh aviv…,… a painfully literal reading of the text gives us an additional insight. The actual translation implies that Reuben had committed adultery with his father’s wife!
…No, it wasn’t adultery. But, in a sense, it was close… It was repulsive. It was wrong…
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“All or Nothing?” (2001)
A thirty-six year separation had not moderated Esau’s hatred for his brother. Jacob was returning to Canaan after all these years, and it was time to get even. Esau resented Jacob for having received Isaac’s blessings. He had 400 soldiers with him, and it was “pay back time.”
Jacob wanted to appease his brother. … he selected a gift for his brother Esau… Hopefully, Esau would accept the gift graciously and let bygones be bygones. If not, Jacob was prepared to defend himself and his family. And, of course, he had prayed to G d for protection…
The brothers met… Their first argument at that meeting was as to the ownership of the gift…
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“Name that Angel” (2000)
… What is in a name? Our Sages tell us that there is great spiritual significance in the name that is given to a person. When G-d created the world, He brought all the animals to Adam, who gave them names, each of which summarized what that animal was all about. He even named himself. He called himself “Adam” because he had been fashioned from the Earth (“Adamah” in Hebrew), reminding himself that despite his potential for spiritual greatness, there is an “earthy” tendency in man that can bring him down. He also named G-d “Adon“, which means, “Master.”
… What does “Yisrael” mean? …
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9 – VAYEISHEV
“The ‘December Dilemma’ — Bah! Humbug!!” (2009)
[This message ran as an op-ed piece in the Jewish Press — Another well-known Jewish weekly paper rejected the article. — I wonder why. :-)]
… Once again, we are confronted by the so-called “December Dilemma.” How do we as Jews respond to the “Holiday Spirit” that surrounds us wherever we go? How should we as American Jews deal with a December holiday that occupies the hearts and minds of all around us?
In one respect, it seems that the Christmas-Chanukah clash is no longer the problem that it used to be. Most communities have found it politically correct to substitute “Merry Christmas” with a much more inclusive “Happy Holidays.”
They have theirs and we have ours. We too, have the ability to ornament our homes with Chanukah decorations. Stores offer us the same abundance of toys for children of all ages, complete with appropriate Chanukah wrapping paper. We can now celebrate with pride! OUR holiday is no different than THEIRS! They are two sides of the same coin. The dilemma is solved!
Isn’t that sad? Why does Chanukah’s chronological proximity to Christmas have to force us to try to duplicate it?…
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“The Paternity Suit”(2008)
…Tamar had a dilemma. Judah had accused her of committing a terrible sin. But she had done nothing wrong…
What Tamar had to do now was to bring out the facts…
So what did she do? Almost nothing…
The entire future of Israel and the world hung in the balance. Tamar had been chosen to be the mother of royalty. But … it wasn’t worth it…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/vayeishev-%e2%80%9cthe-paternity-suit%e2%80%9d-2/\
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“Yes, Brothers, Joseph DOES Love You!” (2006)
…Joseph’s brothers never did understand him. They didn’t realize how much he loved them. They thought he was out to get them… Even years later, in Egypt, after the death of their father, they thought he wanted to hurt them. Joseph loved his brothers…
The eleventh son of Jacob was the first Joseph to be misunderstood. But he was not the last…
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“The Rabbi and the Baker” (2004)
… Last week there was a fire in a strip mall. Several of the businesses in the mall were incapacitated. Z’s bakery was closed … However, Z’s didn’t stay closed for long. Within several days, they were back in business, and I got my Danishes back.
Then I saw an ad that shocked me…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2004/12/01/vayeishev-%e2%80%9cthe-rabbi-and-the-baker%e2%80%9d/
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“Nowhere Man” (2001)
… Did you read about John Walker Lindh? He’s the 20-year-old Taliban soldier from California, who now calls himself Abdul Hamid. You really have to wonder about what values his parents taught him. His father is a Catholic corporate lawyer. His mother is a commercial photographer who, according to the New York Times, has “dabbled in Buddhism.” Rather than push their values on their son, they encouraged him to “choose his own spiritual path.” The closest they came to giving him a role model was naming their then-Catholic son “John.” Why John? The Baptist, perhaps? Nope. An Adams or a Kennedy? Try again. Give up? That’s right, the Times article tells us that when choosing a name for their future terrorist, they decided to name him after …
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2001/12/06/vayeishev-nowhere-man/
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“Pro-choice!” (2000)
…One voice of reason was Reuben, the oldest brother. He advised against physically murdering him. According to the Talmud, the pit contained poisonous snakes and scorpions. Reuben suggested throwing Joseph into a pit and letting nature take its course. The brothers would thereby avoid doing the dirty work themselves.
Big deal! What difference does it make whether you kill someone with a weapon or you throw him in front of a train to be run over? Regardless of who pulls the trigger, the victim is equally dead!! …
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2000/12/22/vayeishev-%e2%80%9cpro-choice%e2%80%9d/
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10 – MIKETZ (GENESIS, 41:1-44:17)
“Vinegar Latkes??!” (2009)
…The Chanukah story is not the only record of a candle lighting miracle.…Rabbi Chanina’s daughter who was setting up her Shabbos candles. She inserted a wick into the lamp and poured in the oil. She lit the wick, recited the blessing, and welcomed the Sabbath. Suddenly, to her shock, she realized that she had accidentally filled her lamp with VINEGAR!
She was devastated…
Her father was unfazed. “What are you worried about?” he asked…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/844/
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“I Have a Dream!” (2001)
… The Pharaoh woke up. What did it mean? What message was G-d sending to the king? … He HAD to know!
Every magician and seer in his realm offered an interpretation, but none of the readings rang true. All the king’s sorcerers and all the king’s men couldn’t put his majesty together again!…
The king had to see Joseph. After a shave and a haircut, Joseph was brought before the king to try his hand at interpreting the dreams…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2001/12/12/mikeitz-%e2%80%9ci-have-a-dream%e2%80%9d/
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“Holy Gangsters” (2000)
Things aren’t always as they seem to be.
A superficial reading of the Torah and the Prophets can give us a very jaded view of the lives and characters of Biblical personalities…
One case in point is the rivalry between Joseph and his brothers. Last week’s and this week’s Torah Portions seem to indicate to us that Jacob naively played favorites among his sons. Joseph comes across as an arrogant and immature show-off who shares his dreams of someday being his brothers’ ruler. The brothers act like petty thugs who will stop at nothing, including murder, to silence Joseph’s illusions of grandeur…
https://torahtalk.wordpress.com/2000/12/27/mikeitz-%e2%80%9choly-gangsters%e2%80%9d/
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11 – VAYIGASH (Genesis, 44:18-47:27)
“The Stimulus Package” (2009)
… Pharaoh took over everything. He now owned a 20% interest in every farm in Egypt. And how did the Egyptians react to the news? They welcomed it! …
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS …
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“What is a Jew?” (2003)
Yehudi – Jew. It is a word that appears relatively late in the Bible. The Torah usually calls us Yisrael – Israel, or Ivrim – Hebrews…
One reason we are now called Yehudim (plural of Yehudi) is that most people who identify as part of our Nation are descendants of the Tribe of Judah…
Not everything in Judah’s life was a source of pride…
What is a Yehudi – a Jew?
I have three answers. A Yehudi is a person who…
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“When GOOD Things Happen to Good People” (2002)
… You haven’t seen your son in twenty-two years. You thought he was dead. The last twenty-two years of your life have been torture. Your years of torment are over. You have your son back. Couldn’t you wait a few minutes and find a better time to Daven?!…
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“Chanukah Leftovers” (2001)
… The smell of latkes is slowly dissipating from our homes. The jelly donuts have left their stains on our shirts and their calories on our girths. Another Chanukah has been consigned to our memories and photo albums. Now what?
It’s time to clean up our Menorahs. (If we didn’t do it yet!) We have to deal with our Chanukah surplus. Not every millimeter of every candle has been melted. Not every ounce of olive oil has been burnt. What should we do with the leftover oil? Salad dressing? Some popcorn, perhaps? One final batch of latkes so the potatoes and oil don’t go to waste? …
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“Staying ‘On the Wagon’ ” (2000)
… Imagine for a moment Jacob’s intense grief and anguish. For twenty-two years he had been separated from his beloved son Joseph. As far as he knew, a wild animal had attacked Joseph, and all that remained of him was a torn and bloody robe. During this painful time, Jacob refused to allow himself to be consoled…
Now, twenty-two years later, Joseph’s eleven brothers have returned from Egypt with wonderful news. Joseph has been found; he is alive and well. And, he has made it “big!” He is second only to the King of Egypt. He is rich, famous, and powerful.
Jacob refuses to believe the story. It just can’t be true. Not after all these years! Finally, however, the convincing proof presents itself…
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12 – VAYECHI
“A Grandfather’s Blessing” (2009)
G-d has sent a bundle of blessing to our family. My daughter, Chaya Miriam Goldenberg, just gave birth to a little boy. We have now been blessed with two grandsons, בלי עין הרע…
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“Any Maccabees Around Here?” or, “Father Knows Best” (2008)
We recently completed our celebration of Chanukah. The heroes of the Chanukah story are the Maccabees. Have you ever met a Maccabee? Actually, a more accurate question is, have you ever met a Hasmonean? …
The Hasmoneans were a family of Kohanim – Priests who overthrew the Syrian Greeks who had defiled the Temple and tried to destroy Torah Judaism. Nachmanides writes that the Hasmoneans were “pious and lofty men, without whom the Torah and Commandments would have been forgotten from Israel.” (Nachmanides’ Commentary to Genesis 49:10)
No, you have never met a Hasmonean. And you never will. The family is extinct…
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“Forgotten but Not Forgiven?” (2006)
Someone I know was attending Services in a crowded synagogue in Jerusalem. While taking the required three steps back at the end of the prayer, a fellow accidentally stepped on his toes.
“Slichah!,” (literally, “forgiveness,” in other words “I’m sorry”), said the toe-stepper.
Since it was during a part of the Service when it is preferred not to speak, the fellow simply nodded in a way that indicated, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
Well, it WASN’T okay, and he DID worry about it. “Tagid ‘Salachti!’” (“Say, ‘I forgive you!’”)
Only after the “aggrieved party” officially forgave the toe-stepper did he relent. “Salachti,” he said, and the incident was over…
… all’s well that ends well, right? Everyone recognizes that the sale of Joseph was part of G-d’s divine plan to provide for the People of Israel during the famine. Yes, they did something wrong, but it was G-d’s will, and Joseph wasn’t angry. Everything’s okay, right?
Well, not exactly. There is one thing missing. As the rabbi in Jerusalem told my friend, “Tagid ‘Salachti!’” — “Say, ‘I forgive you!’”…
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“Mama’s Tears” (2005)
… For twenty years, Israel was a memory from my past, and a some-day hope for my future. Finally, about five years ago, when my daughter was studying there, I had cause to go back for a short visit… One of my stops was Rachel’s Tomb, in Bethlehem… I wasn’t prepared for what met me inside…
Now, I am not what you would call a particularly emotional person. What was it that caused me to react in that way? There was nothing in my particular prayers that would normally have led me to cry. So what was it?
It was Rachel…
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“Payback Time” (2004)
Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold.
… Joseph had been very patient. His brothers, who had sold him as a slave nearly four decades ago, were now under his control… in the presence of their father Jacob, Joseph had treated his brothers well. But now, Jacob was dead. It was payback time.
Joseph’s brothers … had reason to be concerned. Joseph just wasn’t acting the same…. Clearly, Joseph was not happy with his brothers. What could he be planning? Had he taken his cue from their Uncle Esau, who had designated the anticipated demise of his father as an opportune moment to kill his brother?
The brothers felt that they had to do some damage control…
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“Put on a Happy 🙂 Face!” (2003)
… The days of Jacob’s life were 147 years. The time drew near for Israel to die… (Genesis, 47:27-28)
…Jacob … lived a shorter life than his father did. Isaac lived until the age of 180, while his son Jacob only reached 147… the Pharaoh was taken aback by Jacob’s appearance. While the early chapters of the Torah describe people living for several centuries, this phenomenon was no longer common at that time. The king had never seen anyone who looked so old! Jacob explained that he wasn’t as old as he looked…
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“When Angels Came Early To Monsey” (2002)
… As I sang “Shalom Aleichem,” I looked across the room at Miriam. She was mouthing the words as I sang … I felt like crying. Could it be, I wondered, that the angels came early today?!…
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“Promises, Promises” (2001)
… Jacob had lived a long life, and it was time to pre-arrange his funeral. The Egyptians held Jacob in high esteem, and the last thing he wanted was to end up under a pyramid…
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“Kindness and Truth” (2000)
… If I visit you when you are not feeling well or help you jump start your car when the battery dies, I know that there is a possibility that when the tables are turned, you will be there for me. This does not apply in the case of the dead. If you put yourself out to attend someone’s funeral, you can be sure that he won’t come to yours!…
Torah Talk 